10 Things I’d Like To See In John Taylor’s Autobiography By: Brett Warner

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10 Things I'd Like To See In John Taylor's Autobiography
By: Brett Warner

If you’re a fellow die-hard Duran Duran​ fan with at least a third grade reading level, you’ll be ecstatic to know that debonair bassist John Taylor is working on his as-yet-untitled autobiography with co-writer Tom Sykes, set to hit U.S. bookshelves next fall.

Though we all know the story of how John co-founded Duran Duran in 1978 and how the band’s chic fashion sensibilities, exotic music videos, and snappy hit singles catapulted them to the top of the charts in the early to mid-‘80s, but I happen to know first-hand that there are a lot of things about John Taylor that even you, the most hardcore Duran fans, probably don’t know.

In case you’re reading this, John, here are 10 definitely true stories from your life that I’d love to see discussed in your upcoming book:

- The time that you got drunk and accidentally hooked up with the elephant from the “Save A Prayer” video.

- The time you visited a sick young fan in the hospital and accidentally put her into vegetative coma just by winking at her.

- The time that you and Warren Cuccurullo​ went to the Chicago Zoo and decided to let out all of the tigers, but one of them completely devoured Warren’s right arm—which is why he’s no longer in the band.

- The time you and Roger had to cancel an entire tour over a three-month long stalemate game of Monopoly.

- The time that you arm-wrestled Don Johnson on the set of Miami Vice and accidentally caused the earth’s rotation to slow by a trillionth of a second after slamming down his womanly fist.

- The time you stole Simon’s lyrics notebook and crossed out the “A” in “Hungry Like A Wolf” and wrote “The” instead. He still hasn’t noticed.

- The time that you found a cache of Spanish gold dubloons in Andy Taylor’s mullet and used them to buy a small island in the South Pacific where, it turns out, tribes of prehistoric cannibals are still trying to figure out what to do with wood.

- The time that you accidentally tweeted a nude photo of yourself to Nile Rogers with the tag line, “Grand notorious slam!”

- The time you and Nick Rhodes​ had a sudden craving for Taco Bell at 5:05 a.m. in Duluth, Minnesota, only to realize with horror that the drive-thru closed at 5 a.m. Overcome with anguish, you quietly cried yourselves to sleep in each other’s arms.

- The one time you woke up with a bad hair day.

Which 100% not-made-up stories from John Taylor’s life would you like to see addressed in his new book? Hit up our comments section below.

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Courtesy Ology.com